Art: The Fountain of Youth
// Filed in: An Imaginary Obituary Gathers no Moss.
An I Ching Cerebra Transfer: Shown greatly magnified, this Cerebra Transfer requires a scalp incision that’s less than one centimeter. Every song written in the Twentieth Century could easily fit on it. The oldest living survivor of, what was once called, the “British invasion” died today. Keith Richards, one of the founding members of The Rolling Stones, was 114. Richards was born 1943 in England during the Second World War. His musical partnership with fellow Rolling Stone Mick Jagger lasted sixty-five years—though they remained friends until Jagger’s death thirty-eight years ago. Richards was renowned for his legendary alcohol and drug abuse. However, the predictions of his early demise proved less than accurate. Last interviewed at 106, Richards was asked for the secret of his longevity. Through a wry smile he said, “After the way I lived, death would have been redundant”. Upon further reflection he added, “I don’t know, I guess I lived through my art, and art lives forever so I suppose I’m still young.” I Ching, the world’s largest manufacture of Cerebra Transfers, recently made The Rolling Stones catalog available on a transfer. Perhaps The Rolling Stones were right when they said almost 90 years ago, “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”. However, if what you want is to have The Rolling Stone’s music transferred to your Cerebra library, than you can get “What You Need”. Gan Fang, the President of I Ching, released a statement saying, “Keith Richards was a piece of living history from the Twentieth Century. Now thanks to our technology he and his music can remain in our thoughts forever. We have plans to release a special edition transfer that will contain The Rolling Stones’ entire musical catalog and over 1,000 pictures”. Fang claims the new generation of I Ching transfers will make picture views imperceptible from actual memories. Richards was buried with his favorite guitar, a 1953 Fender Telecaster “Micawber”.